A Touch from God
The other night I was praying and the Lord said to me “you must be healed of your past hurts”. He showed me my hurts and how deep down they were. I had buried them, and He wanted to show me so He could heal them all. Jesus loves us and doesn’t want us to be hurting. I never realized how hurt I was; I am a quiet person and always put myself on the side; I would rather hurt than others be hurt. I also had four children to think about, I could not think about myself and what I was feeling because if I did, I would have not been able to do what I needed to do for them.
I always wanted to be a stay at home mom with a loving husband, a nice house and my children to take care of. When I lost my husband in death and my second marriage failed, it just ripped me apart. I never realized how truly hard I took it, but hindsight shows me that I lost my hope in life. I had to be a working mom, as a hairdresser I was not paid much, only about $5 an hour, so I was forced to work more than one job. Picking up side jobs whenever I could kept me out of the house a lot, much more than I ever wanted to be away. The children were in their teens then, but I still missed being with them and it broke my heart.
At that age they were all moving on to different interests and growing up so fast. I wanted to experience these things with them, to watch them grow, but I had to work to keep the roof over our heads and food in our stomachs. I watched them see how other children in the neighborhood received gifts like cars for graduation. All I could give them was a small party. I felt very bad over this, and over all the things I could not give them that I wanted them to have. I felt like a failure for all the bad times our family went through. I just gave into the hurt. Then Jesus came and showed me the truth about the situation, how I had no other choice and did what my family truly needed. He took the sting out of my hurts and renewed my spirit. It wasn’t until He showed me how deep my hurts went that I realized it was stopping me from receiving love. I had closed myself off as a defense to all I had to endure. I was angry at myself because I felt I hurt the children by not being present, and I thought we lost the bond of love between us because of it. After He showed me these things, I prayed for Jesus to restore once more the love between us all, the years that the cankerworm ate up, and the lost time I missed being away from them when I had to work. He gave me such peace.
A unified family in Jesus is my greatest desire, and I put my trust in Him to renew and restore our hearts toward one another and toward Him. His job is to heal old wounds, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. God is so gracious and loving. We don’t deserve such love. No greater love is there in this world than that which Jesus has done; He laid down His life for us. I write such personal things so as to glorify my Lord, Jesus Christ. If He did it for me, He can do it for you!
Love, your sister in Christ
Psalm 147:3
He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.
Jeremiah 30:17
For I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds, saith the Lord…
Psalm 34:18
The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.
Isaiah 61:1
…He [the Lord] hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives….
Hosea 6:1
Come, and let us return unto the Lord: for He hath torn, and He will heal us; He has smitten, and He will bind us up.
Psalm 103:2-3
2-Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits:
3-Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; Who healeth all thy diseases.